The Three C's: coffee, cake, and communication

       So I just had to write my Intercultural Communications final paper. The prompt was almost overwhelmingly open-ended, ranging from drinking/eating cultural differences, media's role in intercultural relations, to merely reflection on your experience in Vienna and offering advice to others looking to study here.

        Well... it got me thinking....And now with only a week and a half left in Wien, I'm getting a liiiiiittle bit sentimental..so,(surprise, surprise) for this paper I chose to write about Franz! (And with that: coffee, cake, and communication!) The 3 C's!! Or at least, according to me.

Seriously, a life with coffee, cake and communication is a life complete, and a life without those is a life..not...replete! Also, I write poetry sometimes.

ANYWAYS!

       Here are basically some of my thoughts, for what they're worth: (I'm going to rephrase what I wrote in my paper even more informally because no one cares about Grice's Communication maxims--they're just putting terms to concepts we already know, anyway!)

Most adorable photo ever award???

          So with Franz, we come from completely different backgrounds, speak completely different mother tongues, and are at completely different stages in our lives! But, we're still friends. Basically the point I'm trying to make is: I believe that language and cultural barriers only exist if you allow them to. (This is, of course, assuming both parties at least have a fundamental understanding of a common language.)

         I mean , in all my experiences throughout Europe, and especially with my horn professor, the times when I’ve successfully communicated with others didn’t really depend on theirs or my own proficiency at a language, but rather a willingness and commitment on both ends to communicating.  If you have a basic grasp on the language the other person speaks, no shame in exaggerating expressive hand gestures, and a genuine interest in conveying thoughts and understanding them, communication is absolutely possible. It may not be the most felicitous communication imaginable, but communication will be possible if you want it to be. I mean it!

          So as you all know, because I always make a point of shamelessly mentioning it, Franz and I go out for coffee and cake every week after lessons, where we more often than not converse about... Salzburg.

          But our conversations aren’t without bumps and language obstacles. Franz is fluent in German and speaks decent, albeit basic, English. And I, contrastingly, speak fluent English and basic German. Both of us are better at understanding each other’s Mother tongues, than speaking them. When Franz tells stories in German, I know what he’s talking about, but can’t always offer good conversation in reply, beyond a “natürlich!” or “sehr schön!”. If we wanted to, we could have a complete conversation, where he spoke German and I English. But as he’s always trying to improve English, and I my German, we attempt to try and keep our conversations to having one language being in use at a time—unless it’s a “Wie sagt man das auf Deutsch, (or auf Englisch)…” moment, and there are certainly many of those!

            But the point is, our conversations aren’t perfect. Although we make grammatical errors, forget words, pause to collect our thoughts, grossly overuse hand gestures (“Wenn man hinuntergeht” is accompanied by a HUGE swooping arm gesture suggesting someone going downstairs), we understand each other—even if it is sometimes, only at a basic level.  But it goes to show: you don’t need to know the inner workings of a person’s soul to be able to have a conversation with them and get along grandly. You don’t need to be able to express profound thoughts on the nature of mankind or verbally dissect the global climate, to carry on a pleasant conversation. You don’t need to explain in excruciatingly detail how much you are enjoying the cake you’re eating, because “Es hat mir sehr gut geschmeckt!” works, or even more simply, “Schmeckt gut!!” “Tastes good!”

(Cake from the gods)

          What I’ve learned from Franz’s and my time together is that sometimes less is more.  When you are confronted with a language barrier, that barrier curtails all rambling and irrelevant ponderings by forcing you to getting down to the basics—to communicate your thoughts in their most fundamental forms. It forces you to assess how you’re actually feeling and what you’re actually thinking, instead of just talking and talking, until the substance of what you want to say only eventually reveals itself through the murk of your words. So, again: comparing my cake to “being kissed by the sweetest chocolate from the heavenliest gods of chocolate” is essentially saying “I like this cake; tastes good”. While getting coffee with Franz, I may not be able to convey the first loquacious thought, in German, I definitely have command over the second thought! And that is more than enough! Because the essence of what I’m feeling as a result from eating that particular cake is “I like chocolate”, and no matter how you express that feeling, the feeling is the same.

            Yes, admittedly, breaking your thoughts down to their basic elements, allows for nuances of sarcasm, puns, any sort of jokes that aren’t blatant, to be lost. But is that really a huge loss? It is in the long run….but when you’re trying to get to know someone short-term, their command over language can potentially hinder this endeavor! We have the propensity to use language as a shield—we use big words, impossible expressions, obnoxious jokes, and hide behind them. When you don’t have this luxury, to throw around words so effortlessly, you have to say what you mean, and say what you feel—no complications. (for these would inhibit comprehension and communication!)

In front of the Musikverein!

            A teacher-student relationship when it comes to private musical lessons is a very unique relationship. In lessons, you don’t need a vast expanse of vocabulary to demonstrate changes you want made in the music. You can make a swooshing arm gestures or personally sing a passage to demonstrate your thoughts. Music acts as a language between people. Even if Franz and I couldn’t speak a single word of English and German respectively, we’d be able to make music. Which if you stop and think about it, is TRULY AWESOME!
        BUT.  Outside of lessons, getting to know each other as teacher and student is also important. Despite Franz’s and my language barrier, we’ve established a light-hearted and very friendly rapport. We joke, if trivially, and we converse, if superficially, about Salzburg and cake. Yeah, yeah, we may not be meeting to discuss the fate of mankind or the economy any time soon, but I feel confident saying that we have a good relationship. There is so much more about him that I’ve yet to know, and likewise with me, but we have a basics understanding of each other. And that’s a start. If I were to stay in Vienna for years more, improving German, and he English, more of our personalities and lives would reveal themselves to each other. But in the 5 months I’ve been here, I’m satisfied with the connection we’ve established.  Music, coffee, and cake, has a spectacular ability to bring people together and establish a connection. And you won't hear a complaint from me! Music, coffee, and cake are some of my biggest loves! <3

            My teacher-student relationship with Franz is one of the greatest achievements and memories I’ll leave Vienna with. I’m really sad to only have two lessons left with him. They’re the highlights of my weeks. The opportunity to play music by Austrian composers and be instructed by an Austrian himself, makes me feel even closer to the music. 

So in a whirlwind of Musikverein lessons, Café Schwarzenberg dates, and hilarious, hilarious conversations I've drawn this INDISPUTABLE conclusion! (I dare you...DISPUTE ME):

          I’m convinced that the concept of language and culture barriers need not exist if you don’t want it to. There are so many ways to communicate that transcend mere language structures—body language and music being but two of countless other ways. Language and culture barriers can seem like daunting hurtles when you have to put yourself out there, make mistakes, sound foolish, look foolish, all in an attempt to know a person. But the rewards are paramount. Leaping over these boundaries with some Strauss in your heart, and a piece of cake in your hand, can bring results you never even imagined. It can open you up to a whole new person and a whole new world. It is absolutely worth it.  I wouldn’t trade my time here with Franz for anything in the world.

Disclaimer: This photo has nothing to do with this blog post.